max throttle_biker sound off

There are basically two bikes which can be called sporty in INDIA.,.,.,.,one from the honda hero combine,the hh karizma,(bikers prefer calling it the zma),the other ofcourse is from the bajaj stables,no prizes for guessing,the pulsar series or the pulsar platform or whatever.,.,.,.,.,.,.

now one avid biker from bangalore,ARVIND,whose ride is a honda unicorn,wants to piss all over the bajaj pulsar,and berate about the state of indian roads,et all.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE VIEWS EXPRESSED BELOW ARE ARVIND'S VIEWS AND THIS LOG IS MERELY A PLATFORM FOR HIM TO EXPRESS HIS THOUGHTS AND THE BLOGGER JAYPRASHANTH IS MERELY OFFERING SPACE TO ARVIND TO PUT HIS THOUGHTS DOWN.
So here we go.

I'm riding on the bangalore mysore expressway,on a steed that most riders would/can only dream of.talk about doing 167kph at 14600 rpm on first gear,talk about taking a bike that can't be improved upon and talk about making it better.well, thats what yamaha has done to the latest '07 R1.talk about 193 pure bred race horses being housed,all together in four inline cylinders and imagine unleashing them all at an rpm as low as 5500.oh yeah baby,i'm on the r1,the best thing that ever happened on two wheels.The bike that could raise your hair better than the strongest of hair gels.the engine whose bassy note could shame even a high end woofer.But damn,this crazy bleary eyed trucker doesn't seem to have an iota of respect for a damn nice piece of automotive engineering when he sees one.Still in first gear,i find a gap and rev up.,.,.,finally an empty road beckons me,i gun the throttle like i was choking one mr himesh reshammiya to death.,.,.,.fuck him.,.,.,fuck the world.,.,.,.all that matters to me is hitting a good 250k's.BEEP.an indication that i'v hit a ton,still on the furious first gear,revving all the way till the rev limiter stalls acceleration,then a quick stab of my left toe to hit second,223 comes up no time,another BEEP,the damn limiter again,a stab for third,and fuck again,a bloody milkman grazing his cows on the grass growing on the divider,.,.can't these animals stay where they belong???I would have mowed down this bloody cow if i had a hummer,but i'm not that lucky enough,not lucky enough to hit a 300 on the autobahn or drift around monza or valencia or even exercise my riding prowess-not this country.,.,atleast not yet,..,.,and definitely not this bike with these kinda moronic co-inhabitants around,.,okie,.,now time to stop revving the pants off the r1,time to ride back to bangalore.,.to be one more power-road hungry denizen.,.,"i told you that riding this beast of a machine is far from pleasurable in this country of ours"the owner remarks,it wasn't all that bad after all,i chuckle to myself.
now im on my very own honda unicorn,no rev limiter-no liquid cooling-made for India-which at last brings me to my point-if you have been reading this far-that when honda make bikes,they do with a purpose.They make bikes that can go from a to b,and then again make bikes that run circles around other bikes in a monza or a suzuka.As long i'm in India,i would most probably never get to ride on that kinda blacktop.More importantly,i would never get to own any of the SBK's,atleast till i'm a student.So,i go for their first category of bikes-and the cbf150,unicorn in india which is quintessentially a great commuter machine.
But not all indians seem to have a perspective as simple as the makers of the unicorns.I wouldn't exactly blame them for it,and they are not wrong.Many riders, in fact most riders fancy themselves to be the tino' rossi's and micky doohan's.They don't let the mindfucked bus drivers or the killing deep pot(death)holes mellow them down.To them,every 10m straight stretch of road becomes the back straight of monza,every bike they ride is a cbr,only if they ever felt the joy of a real sportbike.So these wannabe racers customize,ripping off the sensible commuter handlebars to back breaking clip-ons.Enough trouble to give orthopaedic surgeons more bad backs to work on.They rip off standard exhausts for ear splitting fart like sounds.then they rearset the footpegs to make sure they screw up the handling.and then spend a few grand for some plastic surgery for their puny commuter machines and some more currency for keeping the small lathe owners in business while trying to wring out the max outta their tiny engines.They don't give a shit for overall bike integrity,they don't give a damn to their top ends which would be taken by a scooter-but they want the feel of a superbike,.,..only if they knew what that was,.,.bloody wannabe's..,
These wannabe's,so used to going GA-GA on some piece of shit that ran on 100/17 radials or which made a hell of a noise like the fart from the ass of a constipated horse.If only i had a bike which made me feel i'm a pro,said one wannabe..,.,and Hamara BAJAJ heard his cry_they started researching(still searching) with a bunch of mindless nuts,then went on to make the perfect wannabe Bike.they bragged about features that would only be laughed at except maybe in Untamed Africa.They advertised.They sold.They conquered.and with all this,the blasphemous campaign definitely male bike.Yeah welcome the BAJAJ FUCKIN PULSAR.
Firstly,its pretty ironic that the pulsars should be labelled male-after all,their tanks look pregnant and have been the bane of the manhoods of many men,or maybe its pretty,and very appropriately,the 220's in the ads keep reproducing-oh yes i forgot,its natural,they are pregnant.alright alright,now you owners of the pregnant male-if you feel you have suffered enough insults,here we go!!!
There are many features about your bike that are pretty futile in their purpose for existence,just like the lives of the people who ride it.
To begin with the much hyped "dtsi" tech.throw a match box into a can of fuel,you'll know what i'm talkin about.two spark plugs?you think thats innovation.you think your ideas are original.bmw bikes had em in the 70's.People come up with super refined creamy engines with 4 cylinders inline and you think they wouldn't have thought about 2 plugs.get real man,burning residual fuel with 2 plugs is nowhere putting you guys in honda yamaha territory.And your 200-220 models are a farce.You have radials that aeem to be chopped off a truck and you still have issues with high speed cornering and stability that the more down to earth zma or even the uniocorn possess.Talk about pre lubrication in your chain sprocket system,i think you can go a extra mile with a chain guard in place than a exposed chain prone to malfunction not to mention the indian dusty conditions' wear and tear.You really shouldn't be bothering about weight,cos get the bloody point,its not a sport bike you're making.
Oh and how can i forget your gearbox.You have one neutral and five gears and 4 neutrals between each gear.so technically CONGRATS MAN-you come up with the first bike that has 10 gears.
And talk about your riding positions.I think the union of orthopaedicians&quacks rather bribed BAJAJ into helping them have more customers.So they designed rear set footpegs and clip-ons that would send the spinal cord on a self wrecking mission.and whats with that rubber piece on the tank.guess you learnt lessons after your customers splattered their balls on them.But the rubber piece is no solution.Methinks a pillow will provide just the right amount of cushining..,..,hehehe.Brag about split handle bars,split seats and split grab rails.Hey i have an original idea-I'm thinking- split fuel tank-split engine-maybe i should become an r&d specialist at BAJAJ AUTO.and the backlit switchgear.oh how many self respecting bikers even look at the switchgear to use them.oh yes bajaj rides fumble even with switchgear.,.,so maybe they need it after all cos bajaj auto doesn't know where to package what switch.
Oh and i don't wish to get started about your engine cos i'm not sure if readers would have even come this far.so i don't think its worth all the effort.But in a nutshell,you need to learn what a real sport bike is dude...a real sport bike has something called power to weight ratio-something that wasn't taught to the wise men at bajaj.You make the engine with a heavy balancing shaft and a light crank/.,.,.what an idea to torque up,.,.,.and you didn't paint the 220's engine black because you had heating issues-well if you fancy yourself to be better than any other bike co in innovation-well here's some news.There are bikes around belting out 3digit horses with black paint finished engines.So get back to the 8th grade and don't pay through your way to pass.
And control units,most often used to control engines are most often used by the bajaj boffins to control headlamps.So stop investing in r&d.you know deep down,its just a waste of money & resource.please invest in your damn marketing.
And a big fuck you for bringing in mag wheels and making that a trend.Stop pretending like you're manufacturing a sport bike that requires oil cooling.Single cylinder Engines below 250cc don't really require liquid cooling(except race engines).and for fucks sake don't brag about the shitty exhaustec.
instead of all these shitty features,they could do well to refine their bikes and improve quality.
So you have time and time is money.time till honda and yamaha bring in their big mutha's and satiate the real bikers' thirst for true biking.So make hay while the sun shines cos a long dark night is coming your way soon.
PS:the authors views are his very and this blog is proud to give him some space for his sound off,.,.,.,pulsar lovers are welcome to refute and post counter arguements,.,.,.live life full throttle